Pilates: Why I do it

   

Getting in a daily Pilates workout at home isn't always possible with this guy hanging around! 

   I discovered Pilates young, at a summer ballet intensive where it was a required daily class along with ballet technique, pointe and modern. I took to it more enthusiastically than a typical pre-teen old, mostly because I saw it as a way of "getting ahead" in dance. I knew (or thought I knew) that I needed a slim stomach and lean legs to excel in ballet and I saw Pilates as another way of achieving that aesthetic. I practiced it on and off throughout my teen years but never very mindfully. Injuring my back at age 15 made me more aware of my body's fragility and a slightly more aware and intentional Pilates practice helped me repair and restrengthen my body. 

      Fast forward to freshman year of college. Over the course of my first rough year in NYC I sprained my ankle twice and had to take three months off of dancing. The injury forced me to leave the pre-professional program I was enrolled in and focus on academic studies. This break from dance gave me a whole new appreciation for my body. I started to understand the important of a proper warm-up in more than abstract terms. I saw and felt how a weak, unbalanced body spelled disaster. I slowly reentered Pilates by signing up for a weekly class geared toward dancers.

       "You're always smiling through class!" my teacher told me after my third or fourth session. "You love Pilates!" I did and still do. 

     After having a baby, Pilates (along with yoga and ballet) was instrumental in helping me regain strength in my core and engage with my new body after months of weird growth and the stress of childbirth. It appeals to my methodical, perfectionist ballerina mindset. There's a right way (or ways) and a wrong way in Pilates. There is technique and form and discipline required. When I teach I love knowing that I am passing down a proven system practiced by generations of people before me. Pilates is definitely personal and "customizable" but there's nothing experimental or extraneous involved. Every movement serves a specific purpose.     

     These days, I feel simultaneously overwhelmed and thankful by how much I still have to learn about this exercise method. I teach one mat class per week, but also try to do at least 20 or 30 minutes of practice on my own most days. Every session, I discover something new about the way my body works. I might be executing an exercise I've done a thousand times before but suddenly, by using deeper concentration or activating a different muscle group, it feels different. It's remarkable. 

  For me, Pilates is a way of stewarding the body I've been given. It's a means for gaining mental clarity, along with physical strength, and a way of celebrating all the amazing, wonderful things the human body can do. 

   Over the next few weeks I'll be sharing a few basic Pilates exercises anyone can do. To reap the full benefits of Pilates study, sign up for a class with a certified instructor in your area.

25 Things in my 25th Year

I turn 24 on Monday which means I'm entering my 25 year of life. I'm a little freaked out by this. People often remark about how I've accomplished so many things for my age, but it doesn't feel that way to me. My goal-driven personality, for better or worse, is always looking for a new big project to tackle.
 Instead of thinking of this 25 item list as an ultimatum for myself, I'm considering it means of inspiring myself to keep growing in all my varied roles.  So enough with the hippie-dippie talk. To the list!


Writing
1) Establish and commit to a regular writing routine.
2) Finish a short story.
3) Finish a non-fiction essay.
4) Submit something to another literary magazine.
5) Finalize my MFA program applications.

Dance/Career 
6) Become certified to teach the ABT curriculum.
7) Audition/submit myself for at least two dance (performing) jobs.
8) Lay the ground work for establishing a new company in western NY.
9) Expand the theater and voice offerings at my studio, including establishing weekly classes in music and acting.

Fitness/Pilates
10) Finally master all Teasers on the mat.
11) Take an apparatus class.
12) Earn a second Pilates certification
13) Become certified to teach another fitness discipline (group exercise, personal training or yoga)

Personal/Family/Home/Misc
14) Become a more consistent meal planner
15) Finish decorating and furnishing our house
16) Finally get our wedding photos and A's baby photos printed and framed
17) Spend daily time in scripture.
18) Plan and grow a more varied garden
19) Take a much belated honeymoon/five year anniversary trip with Graham
20) Go an entire week without using social media.
21) Take a class in something completely new.
22) Be intentional about serving and participating in church life
23) Donate at least $100 to a worthy cause or family in need.
24) Figure out a more effective way to organize our budget.
25) Take better care of my marriage, including taking at least two baby-free dates with Graham every month.

Dinosaur

My 24th birthday is next week .

My age must be showing. The following quotes are direct from six and seven year old students in my Primary Ballet class yesterday while we were stretching: 

Me: Everyone make your butterfly wings and bend forward as far as you can!

Student #1: Miss Sarah, I can go farther than you! 

Me: That's great!

Student #2 (to student #1): It's because she's old.

Student #1: Yeah, her bones creak. 

There you have it. I am officially old. Too old for butterfly stretch. The end. 

Stuff I Like: Fall 2013

Some things helping me keep my spirits up in this busy new season:

     1. Good books. It's been a good few months in my reading life. I recently finished How to Love, a debut novel by Katie Cotugno and it captured my hear the way a good book should with lyrical writing, good storytelling and compelling characters. I also just finished Leah Stewart's The Myth of You and Me, which I picked up on a whim at a library book sale. Good call, past Me. I just picked up a few more fall reads, including Sophie Flack's Bunheads and this collection of essays, which I'm looking forward to reading. Find me on Goodreads for more book talk.

      2. Gilmore Girls. I have a good excuse for being about thirteen years too late to join the Gilmore Girls bandwagon. This show's original air dates (2000 - 2007) coincided with my years in ballet training prison.  During these years, I almost never arrived home before 9 pm and barely had time to look at a TV (except to watch Center Stage on VHS on a loop) lest it make me fat and lazy. Now that I run my own training prison, I've  barreled through four seasons of Gilmore Girls in as many weeks, getting way too emotionally invested in the lives of fictional characters in the process. Thanks, ballet, for making me spend my twenties catching up on media I should have been obsessed with as a teen. Thanks a lot. 

     3. Ken Levine's Blog. A must read if you're a retro TV aficionado or interested in television writing at all. (Ken's written for some of the best sitcoms of the last forty years, including Cheers and M.A.S.H.). 
Agave sweetened gummy bears.  Addicting.

     4. Loose leaf tea. I just picked up a few ounces of this breakfast blend from a local tea shop along with a cinnamon spice variety which is just delightful, even though I'm not usually into flavored teas. Something about fall makes me want to put cinnamon in everything, so.

     5. Peter Hollens. My husband introduced me to his YouTube videos a few weeks ago and I can't get enough of his music. Especially this a capella rendition of Shenandoah which I'd love to use for a ballet piece.

Work/Life Balance

     This year I've been trying to be more intentional about separating my work and personal lives. It's been effective, sort of. Anyone who owns a business, works from home or performs an all-consuming job they care about deeply, will understand the struggle. I often inhabit the mindset that I am my work and my work is me. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the distinction, where to draw the lines, and how to carve out space for non-work Sarah to make and do things that are worthwhile and fulfilling. Going to New York on a personal mini-break was a good first step. Taking a couple of hours after class every evening to turn off my email, put my phone and choreography notebooks down and just read a book or hang out with my family is another.
    A good friend of mine in a similar situation suggested compartmentalizing my life a little bit more. She recommended scheduling different tasks for different days or times, which seems simple and obvious enough but is actually really difficult for my scattered brain to implement. So far I've set up regular "office hours" for myself during the day (first thing in the morning, then during my kiddo's nap time) to focus on answering emails, prepping classes and working on freelance writing assignments. I take some afternoon time off to focus on mom stuff, then (around 3 pm) I head to the studio to begin my official work day, usually teaching until 8:00 or 9:00 pm. I don't answer work-related texts, emails or calls after this time unless it's an emergency. A real one. I also finally, finally, finally got a separate phone line for my business which helps with this a lot.
       I've given myself Saturdays off with the exception of some occasional private lessons and short teaching gigs in other towns.  Augustus, Graham and I might actually be able to spend entire weekends alogether every now and then. We also decided to cancel all Sunday commitments except for church in order to have one day entirely devoted to family hang out time/wearing sweatpants and reading books all day. I'm almost positive that's what God meant when he commanded us to honor the Sabbath day. Sweatpants. It's still early in the dance season, but this approach is working so far. I'm happier. My family is happier. Things are good. I
    If you have an all-consuming job or a business, how do you find that balance between work and personal life? How do you keep yourself from taking business failures or successes personally?

A City Excursion

    A few days ago, I turned to my husband and said, "I just need to go to New York for a couple of days." Maybe it was the stress of the dance season starting again or an old college photograph. Maybe it was just one of those I'm-going-to-go-crazy-if-I-don't-get-out-of-here moments I feel every now and then in this small town, country life. I just needed to leave. So I bought a cheap bus ticket and left at 4:00 am on Saturday morning for Brooklyn to stay with one of my closest friends, Mia.
    Mia and I met in ballet school twelve years ago. We share a long history, including a couple of years as roommates in our first "grown up" apartment--a run down, almost windowless place on a seedy, but colorful, block in Bushwick. We took drastically different paths in life but no matter how much time passes between our  phone conversations or weekend visits, we seem to be able to pick up right where we left off. Returning to NYC felt the same. When my feet hit the pavement, it's like I never left. I go on autopilot. My pace quickens. My scowl becomes more pronounced. I feel strange wearing bright colors on the subway.
    Despite an obnoxious, persistent cold, I made dance classes a priority during the weekend and managed to get into some of my former regular teachers' classes. It felt like coming home, in a way. I also spent some time wandering a few of my favorite neighborhoods, startled at how everything had remained exactly the same, but somehow different. Like, that iconic no-frills coffee place in the east village is still there, but it's now a full-service brunch cafe, complete with mimosas and sidewalk seating. That second-hand clothing store I loved in college now specializes in overpriced vintage hats no one should  ever wear. On the Upper West Side, H&H Bagels is gone, but my beloved Zabar's remains. I made sure to pick up some bagels and schmear to bring home, as per tradition.
     I also spent a lot more time in Brooklyn on this trip than I have on most of my recent visits. I never particularly took to most neighborhoods in the Borough, preferring the less trendy but more affordable and quieter westernmost blocks of Washington Heights where we lived our married years in the city. Mia lives in Williamsburg, a hip neighborhood that's enjoyed great gentrification over the past fifteen years. I often refer to it as a "hipster playground" and stick out like a sore thumb with my conventional clothes and lack of over sized glasses. Where you find hipsters, you also find good vegan food. I ate a lot of it. It was delicious. I get the Williamsburg love now, sort of.
   My trip was brief--just one night. I hated to leave. I still often feel like I didn't give life in the city enough of a chance. I feel like there's still more I should do there, like our time together is unfinished. As a compromise, I've decided to make weekend city trips a priority every couple of months or so. The city is a sort of home base for me, even after three years away. I need it.
     While I loved the chance to get away and spend some time reconnecting with this city I love and an old friend, I was happy to return to my sweet son and husband. Somethings are worth leaving for.

Permission to Be Happy

    Dancers tend to be perfectionists and I'm no exception, at least when it comes to dance and professional pursuits. (I am, sadly, not blessed with the perfectionism that results in an organized sock drawer or a sparkling stove.) In ballet, you are never "finished." Your technique can always be cleaner, your jumps higher, your footwork more precise. I tend to apply that same mentality to general life. It's difficult to allow myself happiness when things aren't perfect, you know? I tend to think I'll be happier when I have a larger business and more students or, conversely, when I have no business to worry about at all. I think I'll be happy when I make more money or finish writing a book or have a master's degree or eat more chocolate or lose ten pounds.

     But it's okay to be happy without those things. It's healthy to be happy without those things. Happiness now doesn't have to mean permanent complacency. Being satisfied with life doesn't mean I can't continue working, improving and growing. It doesn't mean things won't get better. It just means I won't drive myself quite as crazy to get there. 

So, today, I give myself permission to be happy.