Stepping Back

I'm starting a dance company.
I wrote about it a little in my last post.

When I set the gears in place to form the company, I knew what kind of work I was looking at. I knew it would be a challenge to squeeze in this extra-responsibility to my life so quickly but my single-minded brain didn't care. I could do it. I would do it because I needed to.

Almost immediately after launching the website and an IndieGoGo campaign to raise the funds for our first performance, I felt like something wasn't quite right. My husband started questioning whether I thought the timing was really right. I insisted it was and kept moving forward with plans, looking through dancers' resumes and trying to figure out how everything would be funded.

We went on vacation to Texas over Easter where we discussed further whether a summer performance would even be possible. I've decided to take my husband's advice and postpone any further work on an official first performance for the company. We think a show can happen in the fall, giving me the summer to get a solid group of dancers together. I need a few months to focus on being a mom and a wife and that book I'm editing first. I can choreograph ballets today or five years from now or ten years from now but my son is only going to be a kid once. I don't want to miss that.

It doesn't feel great to back track. I hate it. I want to be able to do everything all the time. Learning my own limitations is tough.