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Saturday, August 7, 2010

BEDA 7: Restlessness

August 7, 2008

Three years ago I had just returned from my first Harry Potter conference in Toronto.
Two years ago I had just met my husband "in real life" (after being phone friends for a few months) for the first time.
One year ago I was on my way to Ohio to prepare for our wedding.
     Thinking about all the big life events that tend to happen around this time of year makes me feel guilty. Nothing SUPER BIG AND IMPORTANT happened this week other than a few mental breakdowns because I don't feel busy enough. My freelance work has dwindled to almost nothing, we only rehearse three times a week right now, and I can't afford to take as many extra dance classes as I'd like. I applied to do a work-study at one of the studios I attend, but haven't heard back from them. I purposefully decided not to do an unpaid internship this summer because I wanted to spend time taking class and making money, and now that neither is happening as much as I wish, it feels like I'm wasting time. I like being busy. Not being busy makes me depressed and antsy and not very much fun to be around. Sure, I'm getting a lot of writing and reading done, and I'm (finally) keeping up with housework and such, but I'm bored. If I don't end up doing work-study at the studio in the Fall, I'm hoping to apply for some internships at children's publishing houses and a dance magazine. Children's publishing and dance journalism are two of the only careers I see myself pursuing outside the performing, writing, and motherhood fields. We'll see what happens.
    It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I'm itching to go outside and walk off the weird muscle strain I contracted at some point during class and rehearsal this morning. I hope you all have lovely weekends. To those of you Blogging Every Day in August, congratulations on finishing the first week!


  1. I used to think I hated being busy, but I've come to realize that I'm not very good at it. Being busy can be overwhelming and stressful, but somehow it makes me feel better. Maybe that makes no sense. I feel more useful when I'm busy.

    Also, this seems like an awesome anniversary for you to remember, even if nothing of particular OH MY GOODNESS is happening at the moment. Remembering is nice. :)

  2. Wow the last three years have been busy. I know right now you might not be a busy bee but maybe it is a way for you to reflect on how far you've come and how far you're going to reach. Sometimes it is nice to just take a deep breath and remember the amazing events that you've lived through so far.